I went to Agape Spiritual Center last Sunday expecting to hear Michael Beckwith and was pleasantly surprised to find Iyanla Vanzant covering for him. She talked of nega-holism in the masses; those people focusing only on the negatives in their life. And as she talked I thought how appropriate this term is for most individuals going thru divorce or separation.
Are you a nega-holic? Do you find yourself continually angry and clinging to every sad, disappointing, thoughtless, word and deed your ex pulls on you? Would you like to kick the habit?
First of all let me say I can understand the anger that goes with all this negativity. That's normal and part of the healing process - but continual anger needs to be addressed. Did you know anger is rooted in the fear of loss, especially if it's uncontrolled loss?
When you are used to being attached to something and have built dreams around the relationship it can be scary and frightening when it's taken away. And what you need to realize is that the anger is coming because you fear the loss of whatever you perceive to be taken away from you or done to you. This can be very intense.
The tip is to separate yourself from what's going on long enough to say to yourself," Why am I thinking what I'm thinking? Why am I acting the way I'm acting?" Be an observer. This is the first step to detaching from the reactive, automatic behavior patterns that govern our lives and create negative emotion.
When you do this you will begin to detach and the anger will melt away and you will be able to let go. You are able to do this because you are bringing your soul into the equation and your spirit only knows truth. The soul does not have an ego nor does it know conditioned behavior. You will see things from a new perspective and you will realize that whatever has your goat is not all that important in the grand scheme of things. And you will be free and at peace...
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