Sparkle After Divorce

Rite of Passage

A change as big as a relationship ending is a true turning point in your life. It is a time to look at what you may have lost along the way to happiness and what you may need to retrieve or it could be a time to unearth who you really are.  You may be wearing a collection of "masks" from a lifetime of living to please others and fit in.

Thinking about this I came across a passage from Barbara DeAngelis book, How Did I Get Here?, and thought it appropriate to share it with you....

   "This is the true purpose of these turning points and wake-up calls: they are attempts to initiate a powerful process of self-renewal, to point you in the direction of your true destination - not a new road, or a new, improved map, but a whole and awakened you."

Whatever was going on in your marriage wasn't working - that's not a bad thing - it may feel like a bad thing because now you may be experiencing some sadness and confusion and are faced with so many changes. But believe me, in the end you will see they are all changes for your highest good!

9 Steps to Peace of Mind After Divorce

The path to peace of mind is not as insurmountable as one may think - if you follow the 9 steps outlined below you will find yourself swimming in peace!

1. Breathe long, deep breaths of fresh air every day. In on the count of 8, hold for a count of 8 and out on the count of 8.      
2. Listen to your inner concerns and settle all dilemmas - this will give you freedom.   
3. Listen to your inner voice and always do the things you know are right for you in life.  
4. Build a relationship of love, trust and respect between your inner and outer voice, your heart/feelings and your mind.  Become your own best friend. Reward yourself, love yourself and know you are Worthy.  
5. Let all your thoughts owrds and deeds be positive and blessing. 
6. Practice humility, gratitude, love, non-judgment, patience, compassion, joy, and happiness through continual peacemaking in life. 
7.  Love, Accept and Respect all things and all situations in life...they are especially designed for your personal learning. 
8. Eat healthy, living foods as much as possible. 
9. Enjoy and appreciate the gift of life. 

The Importance of Self-Love After Divorce

Are you being good to yourself?  I mean really good to yourself...giving yourself the same support, nurturing and love that you would give your child or best friend if they were going thru a hard time?

Many women blame themselves when negative situations occur in their lives - why do we do that? It's so counter intuitive to who we really are at our core.

Whenever I am in the presence of someone who is solid and exudes confidence and peace - it is always apparent they have a healthy dose of  self-love.  They don't criticize and judge themselves. They are gentle with themselves and they give themselves a break! How refreshing and how FREEING.

I recently re-discovered a wonderful prayer of self-love by Don Miguel Ruiz when I was moving and recalled how impactful it was for me when I was going thru my divorce.

I would like to share it with you - print it out and put it in a place you will see daily to remind you how important it is to love yourself.

Give yourself the gift of the Prayer for Self-Love. 

Make the decision now to love yourself fully...

Living Authentically After Divorce

When your life is upside down and appears to be changing every which way imaginable it can be challenging to live authentically - heck, you may have no idea who you even are at this point.

You may be so busy treading water just to stay afloat that you are in a reactive state rather than a "I'm living in my power" state.  This is when it's nice to take a step back, breathe... breathe again, and get some guidance.

I remember how emotional I was when going thru my divorce and how that separated me from my truth. Sometimes you need a good slap in the face, metaphorically speaking of course!

And so when I was looking through the works of my mentors and  came across some clear cut guidelines for living authentically by Barbara DeAngelis I thought to myself, YES!...this is perfect for my Diamond Girls.

I invite you to read these wise statements and refer back to them as often as necessary in order to live fully in your power.

Living Authentically Means:

• Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values
• Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe 
• Feeling you can be yourself and be loved, rather than having to act in ways you feel will be acceptable to others 
• Accepting and honoring all parts of yourself rather than hiding or lying about them 
• Communicating the truth when you need to, even though it might create conflict or tension 
• Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships 
• Asking for what you want and need from others 

 And you wanna know the greatest benefit of living authentically? Peace.  
  

Formula for Positive Movement Forward After Divorce

Is your life a little out of control?  Do you wake up thinking – wow, has my life ever changed and I don’t know how to make sense of it again?

 

Sometimes it just takes a focused formula to get you going in the right direction.  Here’s a simple three step system that has worked for me and many of my clients:

 

1)   Out of the Box Thinking – allow yourself to shift your perspective. As the saying goes, if you keep doing the same old thing you are just going to get more of the same old thing. Indulge in some creative thinking to bring the new life you want right to your front doorstep on a silver platter.

 

2)   Surround yourself with like-minded people.  If you are doing everything in your power to create positive change in your life but you hang with energy sucking vampires who live to complain and stay stuck you will never get to Shangri-La.  Studies have proven that you are the embodiment of the five people you spend the most time with.  Time to swap some team members??? Something to think about…

 

3)   Align yourself with the Divine spirit.  Whatever term you resonate with - God, the Universe, Source, the Divine – just stay connected! And when you wake up in the morning or before you go to bed at night or both – express gratitude for anything and everything that contributes to your life.

 

Follow this formula and you’ll be well on your way to living your best life!

 

 

The #1 Way to Flip Divorce Blues

      When going thru divorce or the end of a relationship it's normal at times to feel sooo down you're buried in self-pity.  It's understandable - your whole world has changed and everything that was once familiar is gone. You can't see how to make your life better or what to do to make yourself feel better.

From my experience, I can honestly say, the #1 thing to do when you are in the dumps is to give of yourself to the world.  Whether it be environmental or social it will completely lift your spirits because your action directly affects every being on the planet. Your life will be affected in the most positive way imaginable.  Your self-esteem will sky rocket and that's hugely important to feeling good about yourself. 

Ok that's great you might say, but when you're feeling blue it's a bit of an effort to research good causes. And I would have to say you're right, so why not get involved with a great organization now so you know exactly where to go for your feel good mission?

Please allow me to make your life super easy by suggesting The Pachamama Alliance, founded by Lynne Twist. A few days ago I attended a workshop/symposium at Agape Spiritual Center on this amazing foundation. I got to listen to Jack Canfield, Lynne Twist and Mark DuBois unfold the details of our biggest planetary challenges and opportunities.

The organizations mission is to bring forth an environmentally sustainable, spiritually fulfilling and socially just human presence on Planet Earth. After watching the video's documenting the sad facts about the state of our world and the ways in which to correct it I was uncomfortably inspired.

 I had always thought," what can I possibly do on my own that would be significant?" - what a wake-up call I got!  I left knowing that I may be one person but that's where it starts and my participation will be an example to others. Bottom line: I feel great about myself contributing to the cause of a better world for all.                                                         .

If this cause resonates with you check out Awakening the Dreamer, for more details on how you can contribute to the good of our planet. I promise you, your involvement will lift you right out of those nasty blues :-)

Choice After Divorce...

By now, you all know my passion for one of my favorite mentor's,  Reverand Michael Beckwith.  His sermons ROCK! I am always inspired by everything he has to say. At the last service he had this meditative thought:

"Choice is a function of awareness. As you embody a greater awareness of who you are you understand there's something about you that has nothing to do with the circumstances, experiences or history of your life, something these things do not touch.  The You of you is independent of circumstances, experiences, history, karma and so on.  Realization of this independence is the choosing ground for the quality of life you will live."

  ~ Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith

And I say....No matter what you are feeling, going thru, challenged with - it is not the Core of You...just distractions to your awareness of who You are...a beautiful, pure essence of bliss. Be the light you were born to be! Shine on Diamond Girls!

Making Space After Divorce

I don't know about you but when I was going through my divorce even tho I did a lot to move forward i unconsciously clung to the past in many ways.  Let's take dating for example... I was curious but nervous. 

Many of my friends wanted to help by setting me up with who they thought were "really great guys" - in other words, blind dates. Now I know ladies, this isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I agreed more as an exercise in getting my feet wet again than really believing it would be a match made in heaven.

Anyway, as I would sit across from each  "new guy" I found myself comparing them to my "old guy" and not looking for the positives as much as I should have been. I hadn't made space for anything new to come into my life as I was hangin' on for dear life to the old.

Today I got a very poignant message from my daily inspiration, Tut Notes - it reminded me of all the times opportunity was knocking at my door but I wasn't ready....hadn't made the space - not only physically but more importantly... Mentally!

Please read the following note from Tut Adventures and see how it may apply to you:

Your "ship" was spotted off the coast this morning, slipping silently through the fog. Coming around the cape, she appeared in a shaft of sunlight and what a sight to see! Glimmering as much as the ocean herself. Massive and beautiful beyond belief. Laden with treasures, happy times, friends, love, and laughter.

This week, though, you must prepare for her arrival. You must make space in your life for her gifts, before she heads back out to sea.

Your first mate always, 
    The Universe

So... have YOU made space in your life for something wonderful, brilliant and exciting to manifest? All you have to do is look to the sky, open your arms and thank the divine for all it is waiting to bestow upon you and your dreams will come true, pronto!

Feel free to leave a comment and let everyone know what sparkling beauties have landed in your life of late!

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How to Be the Peace You Seek After Divorce

I just got back from a thrilling, ground-breaking, week-end PSYCH-K facilitator conference where I got to meet and spend time with its inspiring founder, Rob Williams.( That's Rob (L), me (center) and his girlfriend, Ra-es(R)). What an honor and a pleasure to get to know this man and his partner.

As I mentioned in my previous post,Eliminate the Pain of Divorce I recently became certified in this miracle tool that helps people become the peace they seek. The process eliminates limiting beliefs to accelerate personal evolution... Eureka, finally a way to enjoy everlasting happiness and joy!! 

I have been searching for the past 23 years for a  guaranteed way to overcome behaviors that keep us from living our best life – I can tell you without hesitation,  this is it!!! 

This process will bring you back to the beautiful being you were born to be.  Together we discover who you are so that you can move forward with confidence, courage, peace and joy.

Supported by noted cellular biologist, Bruce Lipton, this work will free your mind and help you create the life you want. Check out the website, www.PSYCH-K.com,  and let me know your thoughts on this successful process.