"When you forgive, you in no way change the past - but you sure do change the future.” -Bernard Meltze
There are two emotions that govern everything in life: ...
love and fear. Think about it, when you are upset or anxious about anything take it to it's root and a fear will surely be exposed.
When you are getting your life together after divorce you may still be obsessing about every action, word and deed that went on. You may have bought into the belief that:
1) it's all you fault
2) its all his fault
3) you aren't worthy
4) you aren't lovable
5) you aren't deserving
These are just a few examples of conscious and subconscious thoughts you may be having. If you are living in that mind mania and having a hard time letting go of toxic thoughts it's time to do some forgiving.
I know this road only too well - after I learned my husband was living a double life he left me for the other woman,,,needless to say I was devastated. I re-lived every word and moment with anyone who would listen. And when I was not engaged in my "woe is me story" with others I would allow the drama to repeat itself ad nauseam within my own mind
Looking back I see I was living large in the "victim" mode. Deep down I had a fear that I wasn't enough and that I wasn't deserving of love. I started doing forgiveness work and it helped tremendously - forgiving him... but mostly forgiving myself, for buying into those beliefs.
Here are some great acts of forgiveness to embrace from Paula Peisner Loxe's book Finding Peace...Letting Go and Liking It:
* Pray for forgiveness
* Forgive yourself for not being perfect, for hurting others, and for doing things you may not be proud of.
* Focus on the hurtful act when you ask for forgiveness
* Forgive those you hurt
* Forgive those who hurt you, even if they don't ask for forgiveness
* Reflect on why you did what you did or why the other person did what they did to create a circumstance where forgiveness is needed - what is the real problem and what can you do differently in the future?
* Remind yourelf that past pains can only hold onto you until forgiveness sets you free...
I know it can be hard to forgive but it is the answer. Forgive yourself and others for peace of mind and freedom. If you are having a tough time forgiving others I'll leave you with this - - unless someone is paying you rent don't let them take up space in your mind and heart!
If you have had an experience with forgiveness I would love to hear about it and post it to my blog - I believe we are all connected and here to learn from one another - sharing your story may help someone else break through their story.
Beauty and Brilliance!
Sherri.
Good post. Thanks a lot.
http://www.rapidsharemix.com
Posted by: Ciara | 04/05/2010 at 11:06 PM