Sparkle After Divorce

Breakup Advice: Ask Any Question You Want!

FREE Call - on May 12th @ 6pm PST  I will be hosting an Ask Campaign with my good friend, author Lisa Steadman, where you can ask her ANYTNING about a breakup.

Although relationship endings is not the focus of this blog, I know we are in turbulent times which can adversely affect our relationships. So when Lisa told me she was about to launch her new book, It's a Breakup Not a Breakdown Workbook, I thought it would be a great idea to do an Ask Campaign with her to help any of you who might be experiencing a change in your love life.

So, for those of you with a heavy heart going thru a breakup, what question would you ask to relieve your sadness? What question would you ask to help you move forward? What question would you ask to help you know that a beautiful future awaits you?

I invite you to join the Ask Lisa Steadman campaign and ask Lisa YOUR questions about how to heal your heart after a breakup and reinvent a fabulous future. Just enter your burning breakup question on this page and you will be sent the dial in details. You will also be directed to a page where you can claim your free chapter of Lisa's new book.

I hope you can join us live! If not, you can listen to the replay and see if  Lisa answered your question.

At this time in your life you may feel like you are alone - but you're not - reach out for the support that's waiting to help you - reach out to us:-)

So go ahead, ask anything you want while it's fresh in your mind.

Let your healing process begin....

Break-Up Boot Camp

Are you suffering from the "breakup blues?"

If so I want to share an amazing program with you. A good friend of mine, Lisa Steadman -rockin' relationship author and coach- is launching a life-changing 8 Week Breakup Boot Camp in March.  This program is designed to provide relief, reinvention, and rediscovery for women struggling to heal and move on following a devastating breakup or divorce.

If you haven’t heard about Lisa, keep reading! She’s the author of “It’s a Breakup Not a Break-down: Get over the big one and change your life - for good!” available on Amazon and in bookstores everywhere, not to mention her follow up workbook “It’s a Breakup Not a Break-down: A 21 Day Plan to plot your revenge, spoil yourself, and find out how good life is without him,” available in May.  Lisa has coached tons of women on how to change their limiting relationship beliefs and other bad love habits to welcome healthy, happy, whole love into their lives. Not only that, she helps women reinvent their future so that amazing opportunities (and men) start knocking on YOUR door!

Join Lisa on Wednesday, March 18th as she starts her 8 Week Breakup Boot Camp. You’ll get instant relief, renewed hope, and hands-on healing from Lisa.

 to sign up for Lisa’s Boot Camp

 This course is perfect if you’re:

·       Ready for real relief from the pain

·       Tired of letting your ex be the victor while you feel like the victim

·       Committed to emerging from your post-breakup cocoon stronger, healthier, and more authentically you (even if you're not sure how that will happen)

Lisa’s sensitivity, engaging way of sharing her expertise, and genuine concern for her clients makes her a wonderful partner in changing your life. Sign up for Lisa’s boot camp and see for yourself!

Empower Yourself After Divorce

I recently received this message from Neale Donald Walsch and wanted to share it with you because I know I have often been the queen of "Why's" : why did he do that?, why did this happen?, why did he/she say that?, ad nauseam!

Neale's message is a great reminder that asking "Why" gets you nowhere but further down the rabbit hole.

"...why is the most useless question in the universe. The only question with any meaning is "What?"

Asking "Why is this happening?" can only disempower you. Asking "What do I want to make of this?" does exactly the opposite. 

Here is a great secret: the Why of anything is to produce the What of everything.

Wonderful reminder to be action oriented with a solution rather than wallow with a Why that will never give you any answer or contentment.

So next time you find yourself asking "Why?" go straight to the "What" and you'll save yourself lots of mental energy:-)

Building Your Confidence Again

I remember feeling so overwhelmed with it all when I was going thru my divorce. So many questions, so many changes - what should I do here and what should I decide there. How do I move forward in the face of so much overwhelm? And then let's just add in the emotional element that my relationship had crumbled after giving it 13 years of my life. I'm sure you can relate to this and may be wondering how you will find the confidence and courage to sort everything out successfully.

Mostly it boils down to trusting yourself - trusting that you have all the answers you need right inside of you. Initially I was looking outside myself - looking to others for the answers. If the "others" are qualified that's fine but most of the time we turn to friends and family and although they are well-meaning they may not always know what's best for us. Here are three suggestions for learning to trust:

Trust your own inner wisdom. And know that all this pain is part of a greater plan - if you trust this then you will set yourself up for an amazing evolution of Self. You will emerge stronger and more confident.  What I went thru was so hard but it's made me the woman I am today and it will carve you into an even more magnificent being than you currently are. 

Trust that you will make mistakes and that's ok. You learn and grow from your mistakes - no one is perfect so cut yourself some slack. Tell yourself, "I'm doing the best I can with where I'm at and the resources I have available to me- I'm following my inner knowing and I have faith that's the right course for me  

 Trust that the universe provides whatever you need - put it out there and watch the angels start showing up to help you conquer every challenge.

You really do know what's best for you - trust and you will save a lot of time and confusion:-)

Manifesting After Divorce

Wow I've discovered a new meditation that totally rocks!! It's so easy and it works!!! I want to share it with you so you can start creating the life you want pronto!

Here's what you do:

1) Start the morning sitting in a meditative position in a quiet place where you'll be alone.  Inhale, then say, "ahhhhh" for the length of your outbreath. This clears your chakra's. Do this  a few times.

2) Visualize what you want to manifest as you are going thru your "Ah's" - this can be money, a relationship, happiness, a new car, ANYTHING. And send this vision out your third eye (area between your eyes on your forehead) while you are exhaling and saying "Ah." Really feel like you have what you are focusing on. This is sending your desire out to the universe with maximum effect.

 

3) Continue for 15 minutes.

4) Before you go to sleep get in a quiet place and now take a deep breath in and and as you breath out say "om" . While you are saying "OM" think of all you are grateful for. Do this for 15 minutes and go to sleep.

 You'll manifest quicker than you can imagine. The first day I did this I was offered an article writing job for a leading relationship company. The second day a friend invited me to an all expense paid 4 day holiday in Colorado. The third day I received an unexpected check and it just keeps getting better and better every day.

Another benefit - the vibration of the Ah and Om put you in a great mood:-)

Happy chanting!

What's your most pressing question?

"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." ~Henry David Thoreau

If you could ask me anything about how to transform your pain into peace, what would your single most important question be?

Do you toss and turn at night obsessing about how you are going to get thru this emotional mess? If you drive yourself crazy wondering how your kids lives will be affected, how you will support yourself, how you will move on, why  this is happening to me, etc. you are going to love 'Ask Sparkle After Divorce.' If you ask yourself, "How did my life get turned so upside down," if you feel like Alice in Wonderland you're going to love 'Ask Sparkle After Divorce' Tele-Talk calls.

I say this because in my experience the most challenging part of our journey is allowing our thoughts and fears to take hold of our minds. When we are troubled we obsess and it seems we can focus on nothing else. What we need to realize is that we are not alone, others have gone before us with the same problems and figured it out and are there to help us...and others will come after us, experience the same thing and need our wise words to help them on their path.

The key is to reach out and get your questions answered which is why I created the Tele-Talk call, "Ask Sparkle After Divorce." This is a free, LIVE, 60-minute content rich call where YOU determine the content by submitting your SINGLE most important question about how to heal your life and live with peace and happiness. I answer as many questions as I can within the time frame. 

The bonus of these calls is that you learn so much from other people's questions as well.  We are all here to help one another and what one person is going thru may very well resonate with you and provide healing that you may not have even been aware you needed until hearing that question and the answer. 

So, if you could ask me anything about how to overcome the pain of your relationship to achieve happiness and peace of mind, what would your single most important question be?

Go now, while it's still fresh on your mind and enter your question at http://www.AskSparkleAfterDivorce.com and I will answer as many questions as humanly possible on Jan. 27th, 2009.

To get the call in details you'll need to register and ask your question at www.AskSparkleAfterDivorce.com

Even if you can't attend the live call please register and you'll receive the replay.

I look forward to having you on the call and remember, I am dedicated to helping you heal and discover your greatness.

Love & Brilliance, 

Sherri

Stay Focused on the Goal

"Any occurrence requiring undivided attention will be accompanied by a compelling distraction." ~ Hutchison's Law

Do you suffer from "distraction barrage"? When you attempt to achieve a goal does it just seem futile as your kids scream for your attention, your boss puts unexpected demands on you, your dog gets sick, a friend's in need,your car breaks down, your washer blows up etc., etc. Bottom line you can't catch your breath let alone meet your goals. Distractions rule your life - help!

A surefire way to move forward in your life is to get savvy to 6 key distractions that block your progress. All produced by the ego in an attempt to keep you status quo.

1) Doubt - as soon as you have an "aha" moment/insight your ego throws in doubt to keep you where you're at.

2) Drowsiness - whenever you are close to a breakthrough you suddenly get tired. So  tell yourself you're not tired and bust the ego.

3) Worry & Fear - again two distractions that squelch your courage and vision.

4) Boredom - when you start to catch an idea or transform you get bored. Ego's way of blocking your creativity.

5) Aversion and ill-will - when you are close to insight this will keep you away from achieving it. You start to have ill-will about people and circumstances.

6) Forgetfulness -  you have a goal and you get distracted and forget about your goal.

So there you have it - 6 distractions to be hip to. Next time they show up in your life cast them aside and stay focused on that glorious goal! 

Gratitude Breathing Technique

The new year is here and it's so exciting! A new life, new joy, new adventures, a new you! 

All for the taking if you want it. Time to get passionate about becoming the best version of you!

There is no better way to attract what you want than with visualizing "As if" - what do I mean by that? I mean act as though you already have what you want - breathe it, see it, feel it - engage all the senses.

Because I wish for you all that your heart can hold - I want to share with you a simple yet mighty technique to give your visualizations rocket power. If you begin with Gratitude Breathing you will not only  clear your mind for laser focus you will also be in such an expansive state whatever you visualize will become exponentially more powerful.

Here's how you do it:

Breathe into your heart and hold for 6 counts. Exhale thru your solar plexis and hold for 6 counts.  As you inhale say breathe, as you exhale say relax all the while focusing on something you appreciate. Do this for a few minutes and you'll be at peace. This process was developed by Heart Math Institute to bring your heart into resonance. 

 While you are doing this it's important to see yourself surrounded by white light.  Imagine a spotlight flooding your body, or maybe you're encased in a bubble of light or you may see light traveling up one side of your body and down the other.  White light is a very high vibration - it will dissipate darkness, protect and empower you.

Once you're at peace and full of gratitude start your visualization of the life you want - feel it, taste it..claim it!!! Because it's yours in 2009!!! 

Revel in Reflection

Is it possible it's the LAST day of 2008???? I believe there are two events each year that make most people give thought to what they've accomplished and where they're headed - birthday's and New Year's eve. These are natural benchmarks for rumination.

Today I received a thought provoking email written by Rev. David Ault that begs for year end truths. I have permission to share it with you and am excited to do so as I think you'll find it just as telling as I did.

Please read and reflect...

Did I express love this year—real love?  The kind of love that doesn’t announce itself in flashy circumstance or structured conditions—but an authentic, quiet, internal love?  The kind of love that bubbles to the surface when I gaze at another with understanding, a love that places me in their shoes, granting freedom from judgment and deepening my compassion?  A philanthropic love that expresses because it simply feels compelled to, because it knows there is more than enough and everyone can benefit.  If not, then I resolve to be and do better in my authentic loving. 

Did I forgive this year—really forgive?  The kind of forgiveness that cracks open my heart, peeling away one more layer of righteous indignation, thus allowing my soul to breathe?  The kind of forgiveness that loosens my clinched fists held high at a situation so that I don1t enter into the next one with guarded mistrust?  The kind of forgiveness that comprehends there is a difference between understanding a behavioral choice and condoning it?  If not, then I resolve to be and do better in my forgiving. 

Did I stop this year—really stop?  The kind of stopping that can’t help but make me vulnerable by becoming more familiar with who I am without distraction, smoke screens, excuses or self-imposed numbing?  The kind of stopping that turns me, naked, towards my...

How to Quiet the Mind After Divorce

"The best mind-altering drug is the truth."   ~  Lily Tomlin

The mind is more powerful than anything we can imagine - it can lead you to a life of abundance or spiral you down to the depths of depression. But the beauty of this truth is that it is your choice and always in your control!

You and you alone have the power to determine what quality of life you'll enjoy.  Of course things happen in life that are not always to our liking - but the secret to a bright and happy life is not about what happens but in how you REACT to what happens to you.

I have been coaching a gal who had been in both a marriage and  job she had outgrown years ago. She was holding on for security and stability while dreaming about pursuing her real passion. Shortly after we started working together she decided to end her marriage - but it was done with love and respect.

 Her career was a bit of a push-pull - she wanted to leave but didn't completely trust it would work out.She fought with fearful thoughts, "How am I going to make it," "How will I support myself let alone my kids," "I don't think I'll get the help I need to make my dreams a reality." 

And then the universe moved her along...